death by dairy, no more (sob)

One of the healthy choices we made on the climb out of the the cholesterol vat was substituting soy milk for blessed cow's milk. You should have seen the face I made when we decided on this. Like many food biases, it turns out that oatmeal made with soy milk is quite edible. These quotes however, still echo my soy sentiments:

Columbia student volunteer: So, who knows what soy milk is?
Fourth grade girls: [Silence.]
Columbia student volunteer: Well, soy milk tastes like milk, but it's made with beans.
Fourth grader: Hold the phone -- beans has titties?

--P.S. 125
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Mom: If you don't behave, you're not going to get any milk. Oh, no, you're going to get soy milk.
Screaming child: Nooo!
Mom: Yes. Soy milk. Just like when daddy was a vegan. And we don't want that, now do we?

--1 train, near Columbia
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Every day for almost a year. Oatmeal made with soy milk. Cholesterol dropped dramatically. That's why I'm going to live longer. But I still think, NOOOOO! Beans has titties?