Friday, March 28, 2008

epiphenita extols euphemism

As happy as I'm am to admit to my ambidextrosity, I really love women. I love sex in general and sex with women in particular. This occasionally leads me to watch the L Word because there is a fair amount of fabulous, steamy sex made by women for women*. Which I enjoy, in spite of the predictable, stereotypical lesbiglam types who populate L Word world.

*differing from lesbian sex scenes made by men for men, which involve a lot of acrylic nails, lingerie clichés, and pouty-mouthed nymphs kissing each other with one eye on the camera and more tongue action than would ever make sense in real life without a terrycloth bib.
Aside from the sex, the show gets on my nerves (like many ongoing tv sagas) because every fucking character is in über-crisis mode or about to do something so appallingly stupid that a crisis will ensue.

Once in a while, though, a writer does something fun and fresh. Like have the characters name off dozens of slang names for the vagina (i.e., breakfast of champions, munchbox, furry monkey, bearded oyster, mermaid's purse, power slot, panty hamster, etc.). Or when Pam Grier's character, Kit, is all in the dumps about being diagnosed menopausal her lesbo friends try to cheer up by reminding her that she's done with pms. And the fact that she won't have to take Carrie to the prom anymore.

TAKE CARRIE TO THE PROM? Oh shit. That is fucking hysterical.

Let me use it in a sentence:

Hey, I'm not up to joining you guys at the club tonight. I have to take Carrie to the prom. Again.
If I still had a period, taking Carrie to the prom would be my new favorite euphemism.

1 comment:

Menchuvian Candidate said...

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Okay, now back to the sex: yes, yes yes! What about the absolute silliness of those who claim to have learned excellent "technique" watching porn? aaah, NO. Or the seemingly perpetual straight male dubious fantasy of being with two lesbians. Why? You like being irrelevant? Or the one about two sisters? Does the word "incest" mean anything to them? Kajeebus, now that's a family dynamic into which one should insert oneself-yeah, baby, what a turn on.