Monday, June 30, 2008

gay day and blog lint

I have so many things in my head to share. Real thinking things. Ideas and shit. But random and fluffy things have been accumulating in my virtual navel and I must clear them out:

Gay Pride Parade
Best t-shirt spotted (black letters on white shirt, gay man with straw cowboy hat):
Cowfag

Message to trannies:
Girlfriends, buy some decent wigs. I've seen Barbies with more natural coifs.

My queer epiphenita:
I'm the Bacon in the Great Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwich. I love bacon.

 
Irony
Is anyone else pissed off at Fate's little joke of taking out two ground-breaking comedians within one month of each other (May 29 and June 22)? Korman, Carlin: I hope you two are doing that foul-mouthed voodoo that you do, soooo well.

Visitors
The Finns were here. Our Finnish host daughter (from 10 years ago) and her boyfriend were spending their vacation in the US and sandwiched 5 days in Houston between New York and San Francisco. They were completely delightful and we had great fun. I've been cooking like my mother (meaning I've been cooking well and in ridiculous quantities. And making menu lists.) for over a week and I am a bit tuckered.

Note: Between Finland's corner on the vowel market and the Czech Republic's capture of most of the consonants, it's amazing that we have enough letters left to cobble together a language.


Hypocrisy
Hello, Liberals/Progressives? Stop doing the
McCain is so old schtick. It is, in essence, no less of a bullshit prejudice than racism or sexism and he has provided ample fodder for you on the real issues. Really, enough. You lose your integrity with each comment.

[One exception to the ageism slam: The Rude Pundit. A man whose commitment to the egalitarian smear is so wide-ranging and profound, it borders on the holy edge of the profane. When you look up the definition of "nothing is sacred," it links to his site. O Rude One, carry on.]

 

Dusty Mecca?
How the hell did I miss this?

Rampant Lesbianism
Republican candidate for senator from Oklahoma, Tom Coburn
You know, Josh Burkeen is our rep down here in the southeast area. He lives in Colgate and travels out of Atoka. He was telling me lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they’ll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that’s happened to us?"

–Tom Coburn, 8/31/04
Atrios (via dailykos.com)
All the lesbians I know are going to be pulling up stakes and heading north to Ponca City or OK City or DustyPoonanny City as soon as they close this window.

Inspiration
Sapphobless my dear friend Giuseppe for this holy-fucking gem:

Click on the image (careful!) to enlarge. Click here to go to fldsdress.com to peruse the homespun frocks. FLDS stands for Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Über Mormons. Guardians of female hymenity, pastel full-body armor, cheap casseroles and all things caucasian. These are the placenta-makers, my people. Reproducing at a rate that causes great papal shame. And while we're talking about conspiracy, don't think it's a coincidence that FLDS reads exactly like "fluids." That is right. Every sperm is sacred.

 

And not that I don't think those Monty Python guys are anything less than total fucking geniuses, but they're wrong about the Mormon's spilling their seed.


I swear on the life of my unborn triplets, Chastity, Modesty and Frigidity, I will make me a pastel full-length dress. And I will unlock the secret of extensions and give myself a Christian updo. Amen.

1 comment:

StevensVox said...

Maybe your unborn triplets can play with my unborn triplets, Regret, Remorse, and Rejoice...
And I would pay good money to see you actually wear said self made pastel dress.
I would take a picture of that, photoshop an halo around your new do, and build a shrine around the photo:
St. Epiphentia, patron saint of rasher, cognoscenti of linguistics, high priestess of sarcasm...