Saturday, August 02, 2008

crabby movie review

I'm not much of a current movie kind of gal. Actually I'm not much of a gal, truth be told. But recently I saw two movies that deserve a crabby-ass review.

Bonneville
This should have been solid. Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates and Joan Allen. All three stand-up-and-applaud kind of actors. But, no. It was such a retread. Uninspired road trip search for self with your best friends and hack chance meetings of predictable strangers. I don't know. I am pretty tired of the sisterhood bonding schtick as substitute for story.

Teeth
You all know my affection for, fascination with and general squealing delight over all things Vagina Dentata. So, when friends lent us this movie for us to watch, I couldn't resist. They warned us that it wasn't very good but felt the concept was worth the perusal. They were right. Stupid movie but funny idea. It got me to thinking about related specialties. Vaginal Orthodontist (there are gynecological products called Ortho, too. I kid you not). Vaginal Periodontist (yes, Virginia, there's a period in your periodontist). Can you imagine having a cavity or overbite? Or showing off your new caps? Perhaps removable bridges for the wary guest?

I've seen some good movies too. But there are scads of reviews about them out there. Besides this is my blog, dear reader, not some fucking exercise in balanced critiquing.

2 comments:

StevensVox said...

Thanks for the heads up. 'Bonneville' has been doing the limbo on my Netflix for quite some time. It makes it all the way to number two, then I squash back down. As much as I love this particular trio of women, I was just afraid it would be awful. And 'Teeth', well, I just would not watch it on principle. It really is not fair, women get all the neat toys, but where is my lethal manp***y! I say, equality for all genitals!!

epiphenita said...

horseshit, my dear steven, men are born with blow-up daggers and women have pouches. lovely wonderful pouches, but only deadly in myth!