Tuesday, January 01, 2008

v, as in viscerate

For those of you who are not Violent Acres...um, fans seems like the wrong word...part of the VA coven is dark but too gendered and icky wicca. Perhaps: Members of the Violent Acres Legion of the Damned. That has a nice ring to it. Anyhow, if you don't think V is funny and offensive and completely wrong and totally right, then just skip this post.

VA has an ongoing catchphrase contest.* Here are two entries for my first go 'round. Shit. I used my first submission as the title of this post.

Violent Acres
V, as in Viscerate.
That only leaves me with this one:
Violent Acres
Celebrating the burr up her ass.
Wait. Another inspiration:
Violent Acres
Not to be confused with Violin Takers.
Okay, that's lame. No matter how much I enjoyed it. One more for the road and it's not original enough, so don't use it or those geniuses from marriedtothesea will block me from ever reading their site again:
Violent Acres
She'll fuck up your bowl of gruel, son.
Last VA comment today
A few posts ago, V toyed with her Mormon coworker. Led him to believe there was a hope of conversion (Queers get toasters for converts...I bet Mormons get crockpots...and Pampers) and then dashed his earnest hopes by saying that she had a revelation that she would be the next Mormon Prophet. Having survived Mormonism myself, I had a big laugh over that one. However, the funniest follow-up to her patriarchal blasphemy was that google ads seems to have latched on to the keyword "mormon" and her site is chock full of LDS-inspired ads. Sort of like these: mormonbridesforsale.com, funkymormonunderwear.com, meetamormonandmakebabies.com

That is perfect cybermarketing irony.

*I'm above-average tech savvy but there are cosmic holes in my cybershit. I'm supposed to link back to Violent Acres (I keep typing Virulent Acres for some strange reason) and I hope this link will suffice.

1 comment:

StevensVox said...

Sorry, Ms. E,
Moron's, I mean Mormon's get a fresh (unsoiled by Daddies hands) new underage child bride with each new convert.
The Mormon with the most converts that year gets a 'factory made one' a.k.a chosen from the womb of an expecting child bride...