Tuesday, February 06, 2007

space balls

Aeronutical
An astronaut goes crazy and yes, somehow it's more entertaining than if some ordinary non-astronaut citizen loses their shit. In a "fodder for fiction" way, this one is really great.

"[Lisa Marie] Nowak drove 900 miles, donned a disguise and was armed with a BB gun and pepper spray...raced from Houston to Orlando wearing [adult] diapers in the car so she wouldn't have to stop to go to the bathroom..."
After she failed to abduct the woman who she suspected was seeing a man that the married Nowak was "interested in" but not, in fact, married to...
"an officer reported following Nowak and watching her throw away a bag containing the wig and BB gun. Police also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags inside a bag Nowak was carrying..."
A disguise, a steel mallet, rubber tubing and adult diapers...seriously people, legal definitions aside, either this one snapped or was functionally retarded before her road trip. No excuse, mind you, but no one who had ever laughed at Saturday morning cartoons could have taken this I'm-ready-to-play-Let's-Make-a-Deal plan seriously.

Holy Touchdown
The Superbowl. I watched it. It's Barbara's birthday weekend, she loves the Superbowl and I'm a sucker for that woman. Plus I thought I'd enjoy the commercials (they were so-so) and finally, I can always use some brushing up on traditional dyke factoids...like what is the outcome of a successful 2-point conversion? (I also know who's buried in Grant's tomb.) Anyway, my mother wanted the Colts to win and that's reason enough for me to cheer them on. Besides, neither team had an outstanding logo design to sway me.

The coaches seem like nice guys. You know, we love the iconoclasts. In a profession that lends itself to screaming, cursing and gesturing, Tony Dungy looks like the freakin' Dali Lama. Of course the NFL and the press played up the "first black coaches in Superbowl history" juxtaposed with Black History Month. It's important. It's noteworthy. I'd have been irritated had it not been mentioned. But the coverage also felt like peddling the sacred for soundbites. Using the Shroud of Turin to polish the big church doors, if you know what I mean. Ironically it was the soft spoken Dungy who really irritated me in the end. This won't surprise those who know me.

Is Jesus really participating in the NFL?

“I’m proud to be the first African-American coach to win this,” Dungy said during the trophy ceremony. “But again, more than anything, Lovie Smith and I are not only African-American but also Christian coaches, showing you can do it the Lord’s way. We’re more proud of that.”

How would the Savior coach football? What plays would He call? I guess it's impossible not to read that all those other winning coaches didn't do it the Lord's way, otherwise what would Dungy and Smith have to be so proud about? What would the reaction have been had Dungy been Muslim–and said that he owed all his team's touchdowns to Allah? It's just arrogance, however well-intentioned. Not to mention ridiculous.

2 comments:

Barry Baxter said...

Or as that church in Missouri City would put it, "The best hang time ever recorded was on Calvary Hill." :-)

Texas2Tennessee said...

...and if you'd like to read more heartwarming accounts of Mr. Dungy's Christian charity read this:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/huffpost/20070207/cm_huffpost/040589

Makes you kinda warm and pissed off all over.