Thursday, February 03, 2011

in over your well-coiffed head?

If you owe anywhere near $729,000, you don't get to be a part of any government program with the word “Affordable” in it.

Suck it up. You have a three-quarters of a million dollar home. Rent rooms. Sell your furniture for kindling. Buy a mobile home. Turn it into a whorehouse. A Meth lab. Pimp your kids. Be enterprising, motherfucker, you qualified for that loan at one point.

And by the way, you forever lose the right to pule about welfare taxes sucking up your hard-earned money.

2 comments:

BH said...

Ha! You, of all peeps, should know that any ad you see in/on the internets is a crock o' shite (especially if they pack in too many words--and use a cutesy font).

$729,000?! The outrage! Wait, I qualify -- woo, hoo, free gubment moneyyyyssss - now keep your hands off my medicare!

Epiphenita said...

Yes, working in the sleight-of-hand world of advertising makes me hyper skeptical. However, some of the bullshit is piled higher and deeper than others.

The day I was perusing the online paper, this little gem managed to rise above all the rest with it's sorry design, poor choice of typography and mostly, it's insulting opening line.

And goddammit, make sure my taxes don't go towards educating any of those brown kids whose pregnant mothers swam through the Rio Grande citizenship backdoor into a country that treats them like shit. Because they are freeloaders. Not me.