juror's prudence

Jury duty today.

Why do people call up their friends while sitting in the big-ass juror holding tank? And inform the callees, in hushed tones, I've just gotten to the jury room. It is seven kinds of tedium sitting in the jury room—why would you have to pass that along? Are you that hard up for a sense of importance?

Here's what I did:

• I spent three hours with the beer drinking song, In heaven there is no beer, that's why we drink it here... on a continuous loop in the nether regions of my brain. It's a catchy little tune and when I get hold of my dear friend, Lori, who kept singing it Friday night I'm going to... sing it back to her. Loudly.
  
• I rediscovered my passion for earplugs. God, I love earplugs in public. Even day-glo yellow ones.
  
• I read to the halfway point in "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay" and it just keeps getting better.
• I didn't get picked for a jury. But had the civilized decency not to clap at the end.
• I was grateful I finally got to answer my jury duty summons without losing any income. The damp silver lining of unemployment.
  

When I got home I wrote an email and used the phrase "eschew red meat" to describe those healthy poultry-eating types. Eschew something you chew, I just love it. I know, I know. I've had too many dictionaries dropped on my head.