bibullshit

On the university's fb page our social media person asked the question,
Can you name one book that changed your life?

The comments contained lots of good books (The Picture of Dorian Gray, Sister Carrie, Lord of the Flies, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Fahrenheit 451, The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, etc.), some lame (Alchemist) and most predictably, many listed The Bible (often capitalized BIBLE, in case we missed their piety).

The Bible changed their lives? Liars! Fucking liars. Most of them wouldn't get through a book as convoluted and boring as the Bible without all the pious pressure. What they understand about the Bible is the predigested, completely bullshit version fed to them from the pulpit and vacation Bible school. The Bible itself is full of begats and incest and murder...which should make it somewhat interesting but in fact, does not. It's a poorly told story, choppy and inconsistent. Not to mention offensive and violent and anti-women and pro-slaves, etc. ad nauseum. The Bible changed your lives? Drone-brains.

i heart isabella rossellini

Most happy couples should have sexual fidelity exceptions: the person(s) with whom a partner could fuck, without breaking the relationship. On my list would be Tom Waits (of course), Helen Mirren and without exception: Isabella Rossellini. I just saw another of Rossellini's Seduce Me videos (following the Green Porno series) and I swoon. Here is Noah's Ark:

Intelligent, sexy, funny and beautiful. That, my friends, is a woman to lust after.

file under "i wish i'd have thought of that"

Teen:
So, this one time I got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for moving all the Bibles to the 'Fiction' section...
--74th & Columbus