It is a political season without precedent in my life. The drone of rhetoric and issues has become deafening the way sitting near the engine of the plane fills your ears. Politics is passion and passion is by definition volatile. Lots of people are feeling the fatigue from angry substantiated and unsubstantiated epithets hurled. It's too much today.
Work is not much of a relief. My inspirational and energetic leader of 2+ years is gone. Can't talk about why or how but it is painful. Inspiration and energy is in short supply. Candor and sincerity are even rarer. I depended too much on her enthusiasm and feel compelled to create it/find it/nurture it within me to give to the team. There's a black hole of escapism that keeps sucking it out. And there is understandable confusion/stress in the current leadership void.
Of course if tomorrow some real tragedy should strike, I would chide myself for puling over these small issues. That is me trying to get perspective. Well, I make myself climb out of this hole every day so I can help the people I work with because they are outstanding.
Over the past two years or so, there have been dramatic changes in the microcosm of my life.
- My father died.
- We queers won the right to marry. (I am marrying the love of my life here in Houston in six months, on our 30th anniversary.)
- Our daughter started renting our garage apartment. I will look back on this time in our relationship as one of our happiest times.
- Barbara got a long-overdue, well-deserved promotion.
- I became a creative director.
- Barbara was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation. It is under control with medication and exercise.
- Our city has morphed into an L.A.-style traffic snarl.
- Property taxes are out-of-control.
- I have been in a whirlwind of making.
- Finally finished a goddamned table after years of stalling. It's a beauty.
- I've been knitting.
- And baking.
And dreaming of the day that my life will consist of hopping from one project to another.