Sunday, August 01, 2010

t-minus 2 months

Two months ago my dad was talking to me about what he and mom were thinking about doing for their 55th wedding anniversary. That, in itself, is a little odd for the non-celebrating, unsentimental couple they usually are. They considered Puerto Rico (where he was born and has relatives), Portugal (a great idea but I doubted they'd spend the money/travel that far) and something else I can't remember. And then, he said, but we've decided to spend our anniversary with you. In October. (4 months from the phone call, 2 months from today.)
  • I am tickled.
  • I am horrified.
  • I am honored.
  • I am terrified.
My parents haven't been here in ten years. You know all this DIY I've been referring to lately? That's the connection. So, to recap. I am thrilled that my parents are coming to visit but I'm bouncing between high anxiety and...less anxiety...
  • My parents (mom-driven, family-wide) are 100% house-perfect crazy. Their house always looks like a model home. I am not shitting you.
  • I love that we'll be celebrating their 55th anniversary here.
  • My mother's standard is insane. But I am an adult! I choose how I live! BUT this is hard-wired. I can't escape how my fairly normal looking house will look to my folks.
  • My house is in dire need of fixing up and this is probably just the impetus I needed.
  • I can in no way get it up to the acceptable standard I was raised to expect but I'm going to die trying.
Stay tuned.


E4 said...

HA HA! welcome to the horror your little sister endures being the ONLY ONE OF FIVE living in drop-by distance. As in yesterday when she asked if i thought i had enough paint to finish the front room. just a different tactic from the three previous inquiries in a month about the half-painted room. hey, it is kind of fun though to watch her head tilt up automatically walking under the a/c vents to see if they're dusty.

Epiphenita said...

I usually feel sympathy for your proximity to Mrs. & Mr. Clean but lately, my compassion has been ratcheted way up.

Because Mom knows how completely insane her standards make me, she's probably going to go way out of her way to assure me the house is fine.

Let me assure you, the house is not fine. However, I will clean the cracked drywall, old linoleum kitchen floor and enamel-chipped bathroom fixtures to within an inch of their ancient lives.

StevensVox said...

Please tell me this does not mean you are redoing the back room and removing the doll part door handles with regular knobs and whatzits!

Epiphenita said...

Eventually, Steven, all that is going away to expand the kitchen. I'll save a few doll body parts for you...