have you ever...

Have you ever been talking to someone you've known for years and they tell you something they've told you (several times) before as if you'd never heard it? Don't you find it painfully hard to resist asking, "Have we met?"

Have you ever run into the bathroom, your bladder tap-tap-tapping on heaven's door, only to find that the boorish cretin preceding you didn't do the all-important turn and check before exiting the stall? Boorish cretin with careless elimination habits. I never think about boxing someone's ears. In this situation, it's the only appropriate response.

Have you ever waited behind someone at a red light, for what seems like hours, only to have them turn on their signal after the light turns green and you're hopelessly stuck behind them? You hadn't been given the head's up to go around them because they were too busy unwedging their head from their ass to nudge up their signal stick. Then, they have the nerve to look indignant at your gentle gesture of disapproval.